Have you ever been told phrases like, "Stop overreacting, it's just a small problem" or "Why are you crying again? You're so weak."? How do you react? And more importantly, how does it make you feel?
Here at Metroscene Mag, we understand how you feel, and we would feel the same way if we were in your shoes. Luckily, I have some valuable advice to share with you from Lyqa Maravilla, an online educational content creator, motivational speaker, podcast host, and registered psychometrician. She reminds us that our emotions are valid.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month in May, let's have open discussions about mental health and challenge the stigmas surrounding it. Let's always honor our feelings and stay true to our emotions. And remember, Lyqa Maravilla has our back.
Let us talk about the gravity of the situation
We are all human beings with unique experiences. In our own lives, we both experience positive or negative challenges. The thing is that both the ‘positivity’, and the ‘negativity’ of experience is not the only category it falls off if we are going to describe or measure them. It also actually depends upon the “gravity of the situation.” Listen to this #MotivationalMinute - The Gravity of the Situation of Lyqa.
This was posted on her Facebook page last May 11, 2023. Coach Lyqa captioned the post “Paalala lang upang maging pagpapala at hindi magpalala.”, reminding everyone to be someone else’s safe haven. In the video, she shared her experience in her recent trip to Japan where she learned about this science fact that “the force of gravity differs where you are in the solar system” in one of the exhibits she passed by. She explained that the weight of an object differs from where you are standing, and then asserted that it just gives new meaning to the sentence, “you do not know the gravity of the situation.”
“Gravity of the situation” is a phrase we usually hear from people when they are talking about the urgency or seriousness of something. When someone says that you do not understand the gravity of the situation, they do not think that you, perhaps, understand why it matters.
If we are going to think about it, Coach Lyqa shared this illustration to imply the message that we may not just know the gravity, or “weight” of someone else's problem because we are not in the same situation they are in. She further explained at the end that we may have the same problem, but the ‘gravity’ is just different because of the different stakes that people have in a situation.
Furthering the discussion
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| Photo From: Lyqa Maravilla Facebook Page |
After that video by Coach Lyqa, a lot of things can still be talked about. In the video she explained “where we are” in the universe makes the gravity vary. She then gave another example where if a student and an adult both lost their wallets, the latter would suffer more inconvenience for some reasons.
It is given, we handle the weight of the situation differently influenced by many factors. And when we come to think about it, gravity of the situation would somehow depend on how important things can be for a person at a given time. “How much does it mean to you?” That is the question.
There are just things that are significant for us, things we value so much. We work hard to achieve and fulfill them. The pain we experience when we fail or stumble in the middle of our riveting efforts and hard work weighs as much as how we perceive how important they are, and the same as that the other way around. It could be our dreams, or aspirations, or something we just love, or anything that mean so much to us.
Not only that. In life, we are also in different situations. The hard-to-swallow truth about life is that we are in a stratified world. Some have it all already, and some people don’t. Losing something or failing about something may not be a big deal for you because you do not understand the stakes of it and you may probably have them all so easily. But imagine someone who works double time all their life to be able to get things they thought they could not have. Same dilemma, but the thing is we are not on the same boat; we face different social realities. Are we experiencing the same gravity?
Toxic Positivity and its not so positive effect
Some people maybe just cannot understand the gravity of our situation because of toxic positivity. We heard a lot of people who, because of their twisted mindset of “ always being positive” in all situations, they forgot to consider the grounds of its reality. Some phrases presented above are just some phrases you may hear from people with this mindset. In turn, they tend to invalidate someone’s feelings or judge them. Good thing is, there have already been a lot of awareness talks on mental health, paving the way for eradicating toxic positivity. Coach Lyqa as a registered psychometrician herself, created content on how to address this. She defined Toxic Positivity as “choosing and/or forcing a happy and optimistic outlook or approach across all situation kahit inherently negative na ito. It is ignoring, denying, and minimizing the reality and real human emotion”. Watch here.
Overall, Coach Lyqa reminded us that all emotions are valid, no matter how big or small it may be for you and for other people. The funny thing to be told is we are standing in different parts of the earth/universe. We have our own experiences, own stories, different reasons and things we value. Things may be easy for you but it may be challenging for some. This time being, it is an opportunity to destigmatize everything about mental health myths such as the one tackled above. It is alright to feel your emotions and take accountability for them. It is fine to talk to someone and get listened to. It is alright to ask for help.
Imagine a world if we just come to understand everyone and be just their listener. We could have saved more lives. This is the world that we want to achieve. It is time to normalize talking about our emotions because they are all normal and valid; It is human. It is time to listen with an open heart, be compassionate, and help each other through uplifting everyone from the deep darkness of thoughts.
Again, thank you Coach Lyqa for another episode of reminding us that all emotions are valid—that we matter.
