Every woman's road to motherhood is an incredibly challenging journey, and nothing will entirely prepare you for the realities of raising a child. Even though there are many books, websites, and suggestions from family and friends, nothing can really express the emotional rollercoaster that comes with becoming a new mother.
Actress and new mother Iza Calzado recently opened up about her days as a new mom, highlighting just how real and pervasive mom guilt can be. Iza Calzado joined edemama founders Bela Gupta and Nish D'Souza at the New Mama Expo opening ceremony where she shared her experiences as a new mom during her speech, which a lot of moms can surely relate to, "Mom guilt’ is so real!"
No handbook can prepare you for motherhood
Iza gave birth in January to a baby girl, which she and her British national husband, Ben Wintle, named Deia Tala Amihan. “Andami palang nararamdaman ng bagong ina,” said Iza, which for sure every momma will agree to. She shared how completely opposite she felt when she was in the hospital and when she got home, “At the hospital, you feel like a champion, but when you get home, that’s a different story. There are a lot of changes happening in a woman’s body.”
She also took the opportunity to tackle and shed light on the common problem that most newly birthed mothers have to deal with, which is postpartum depression. Iza said, “No matter what age you are, moms need help, and we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for it. Especially in the first few months, you’re dealing with a lot of hormonal changes, which is one of the toughest things. You may think, ‘Am I going crazy?’ You carried a child in your womb for so long, you gave birth—which is physically taxing—and then you have to take care of the baby. Breastfeeding is also a challenge for some moms. There’s also the pressure of doing everything right and well.” She then highlighted how the five universal postpartum needs such as rest, nourishing food, loving touch, spiritual companionship, and contact with nature are necessary to combat postpartum, which she quoted from Kimberly Ann Johnson’s book.
Iza admitted that breastfeeding is a tough job
During her first few days as a mom, Iza confessed that breastfeeding was not easy for her. “She still latches on me—that’s priceless—but the milk she takes is not entirely from me,” said Iza. Iza revealed that she currently has someone helping her, which she referred to as her “breast milk angel.” She described her as an amazing person and someone that she is grateful for.
Although Iza didn’t go into details as to why she needs help from another mother to provide breastmilk for her daughter, she pointed out that she has a medical reason for it. “I’m just grateful that I get to experience breastfeeding in some way, and that my daughter has a donor. I also know that I shouldn’t feel guilty about it, and that I have to forgive myself for it. ‘Mom guilt’ is so real!”
Iza is grateful for people acting as her support system
Iza stressed that her husband has been very supportive, “He researches with me. He plays with Deia almost every day. Especially now that she’s becoming more animated, you can see that the father really steps in at that point. He has done some nappy changes. Congrats to him! He makes time every day, like bringing her out to the sun and playing with her.”
As someone who doesn’t have the kind of support coming from her parents since Iza’s parents are both deceased and her husband’s parents are away, she revealed that she hired people to help her take care of Deia. During her speech, Iza was so genuine in saying that she will not pretend to be someone who can do it all. “I have hired help which I find, there should be no shame in that. Because they are there and you treat them as family and they treat you as family, they take care of you, they help you…And I’m very, very deeply grateful for that kind of support that I’m given,” said Iza.
For sure, there is no such thing as a perfect mother but there are mommas out there who are going the extra mile and giving it their best shot to raise a child just like Iza Calzado, a kind of momma that deserves praise!
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